ADVICE FROM AN ASPIRING ACTRESS

I am new to the whole acting thing (besides high school productions), but in my little experience in a college theater department and from other productions, I have gained much wisdom... usually from my own embarrassment. Here is my advice for other newbies when it comes to auditioning.

1. Be sure you are in the correct room that the audition is in. The fact that there is a professor with a clipboard in the room accompanied by other students does not necessarily indicate that they are actors auditioning for a professor. In fact, it could be that it is merely a room of students talking to a professor holding a clipboard. They will not like it when you try to audition for them.
2. Be sure you have arrived at the correct time for the auditions for the character you received callbacks for. The fact that all the other actors are the opposite gender as you should be a tip off that this is not the character you are auditioning for.
3. When discovering that you are not, in fact, in the correct room for auditioning, or that you have entered at the wrong time for the character you are auditioning for, you should not quickly stand up, salute the director, and carelessly stroll out of the room. What works for Carol Burnett does not always work for the rest of us.
4. If you should happen to make the mistake of doing what is mentioned in #3, do not laugh loudly after exiting the room... until you are certain the door is closed.